just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
