I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
