U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My vagina is officially offended.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
