I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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