Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The power of my boobs compel you
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
