talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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