I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
