Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
bring money and cleavage
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
