Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
