Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
