you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
