It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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