I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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