Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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