So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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