Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You're like the curious george of whores
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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