fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
