but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
