but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
