uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
