You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
