I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
