you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did I show you my penis last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
