But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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