I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
