You can't motorboat a personality
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We are two peas in an std pod
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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