I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
