Having a random hookup so left but love u
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
