After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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