Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
