I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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