He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
