turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
