I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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