He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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