In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
