Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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