I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
