so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
