If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize