how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
