I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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