You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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