just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
did i just pee glitter
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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