He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
