That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
