I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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