She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
