I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
