Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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