Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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