...so i touched it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As shirtless as possible
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
