when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
